And On...

As we set out to drive across Canada, we were all very optimistic about how long it would take and how we would travel. Scott was in the  suv, pulling a trailer full, me and Karen were in the truck with the three dogs and pulling a second trailer. There were signs in the beginning, you know, small ones you don't notice unless looking back over the events. We didn't actually leave the day we were supposed to, I spent two days with K and S at their trailer, having sold almost everything I owned and said my tearful goodbyes to friends and family, I had tied up this part of my life and was essentially in limbo. It felt strange, a closed door at my back, a wide open one in front, full of hope, full of promise, but also so full of the unknown it was terrifying. I had done this before, this pack-up-everything-I-own-to-go-chasing-a-boy-to -another-city thing, and had never really panned out. In fact the last time I did it, it had cost me my marriage. So here I was on the brink of a new adventure, missing my folks, missing my pets about to set out on one of the biggest adventures of my life!

The Story Continues...

After the buzz of a lovely Christmas in another town had worn off, we still had the issue of living long distance. Now that I knew it was for realz yo, it became harder and harder to stay put. I felt like ditching my last semester and just bolting.B came out around my Birthday and stayed for a month or two, and we made plans. B had to go back to T.O. for work and I was nearing my graduation date. One of my teachers at school approached me and said that her and her partner were moving to Ontario in July and wondered how I was going to get there, I said I didn't know because I really didn't have enough money to rent a truck, not to mention I didn't(don't) have a drivers license, plus, my stuff! Kindly she offered space in one of her two trailers for my things and a seat in the truck if I helped with her three dogs along the way. I quickly agreed. FINALLY! a plan in place, graduation imminent, Toronto here I come! oh wait. I have two cats that cannot ride in the pick up with me, that I must take with me...hmmmmm....Dad to the rescue! We bought carrying cases for them and drove them out to the airport 2 hours before their flight, only to be told they would not be taken as the cases were too small! We mad a mad dash to into Sydney to the small pet store there in hopes of finding what we needed. As we pulled up in the parking lot we could see several people waiting outside the shop..this did not look good, we were on a major time crunch mission and the buddy wasn't even on time to open the shop! I was very nearly hysterical at this point and thank god my Dad is as calm as f#ck, because we got the cases with no one getting hurt, managed to make the check in deadline to get the cats sent out AND he paid for the whole thing. Whew. Oh did I mention Brian hated cats? ( I say hated in the past tense as we all live  together now relatively conflict free). And so I held an indoor garage sale, sold everything I could ( I have very generous friends, they often gave me more than the asking price for things just to help out) gave the remainder of my things to my good friend Raya to hold on to and went my merry way out to Mechosin to Karen and Scott's to get ready for the departure, which was to happen in 2 days...

And So It Goes...

So we decided we were going to do this. But we really hadn't figured out how. That November I got a call from B's brother. As a surprise he wanted to fly me out to Toronto for Christmas! He also stipulated that it must remain a secret. That was very hard for me, as I love to tell people good news. By the time the flight date arrived I was ready to gnaw my own arm off, rather than spill the beans! i told B that he should call me on Monday as usual and that I had a few errands to run but should be around. His brother told him they needed him down at the studio work space for help with something and his partner and good friend said they had a maintenance window to do and could he come down to the office....Well I managed not to tell him, but when he called a few times and realized I had been incommunicado for hours and hours and his two closest people had two different stories as to why he MUST be at a said location, he put two and two together. But it was a lovely reunion, and a wonderful Christmas with lots of snow, food and family...

Here We Go...

So that was that. I knew I wanted to be with him and he with me. There was just the problem of where we were going to live and when. Shortly after the four days with B at his cottage, I flew to Crestone, Colorado to live at a hermitage for two weeks! here. That is a whole other post that I may talk about one day, but for the sake of our tale, I will truncate. Every day I would ride the donation bike from the my little cabin in the desert beside the Carmelite Monastery, to the town of Crestone, to use the one pay phone in existence there to call B and say hi. I missed him. Even though we hadn't been together in the same place for longer than four days, I missed him. So we'd chat, I'd get groceries, ride back to my private spot in the desert and think. Alot. We would have music dates, where we would pick an album, and a time and both listen to it in our respective comfortable seats. Miles apart, but together in spirit. Our favourites were Viva la Vida (coldplay) and Agaetis Byrjun (Sigur Ros)...I knew we had to decide what was what. I was terrified, but I was hopeful.

The Next Step...

When I contacted B, I didn't know what kind of reaction I was going to get, after all it had been almost 10 years since we had parted ways and we had only seen each two other times after our falling out. Much to my delight and surprise he called me on the phone almost immediately. We chatted. It was a good chat, one of those chats that fills in all the feelings of missing that person. We were friends again. He had just come back from living in Paris for the last 3 years, he was single and now living in Toronto. I was having a long distance relationship with a fellow from Saskatchewan and had plans to move there after I graduated from Architectural Interior Design school....We continued chatting once in a while, and I must admit things were getting flirty, and as my long distance relationship dissolved, I felt like something might be happening between me and B.

It was kind of a problem. Not only was I totally not interested in having another failed long distance thing, I couldn't move there as I was in school!
So then I had an idea, you see I had to know if this was a real thing, look at him in the eye, touch him, smell him, search his face for the signs. It was a tuesday that i called him and it went something like this:

Me: Are you sitting down? I have something to tell you and I really think you should be sitting for this.

B: ok. Is it bad? should I be worried?

Me: No, no it's not bad..are you sitting yet?

B: Ok, I'm out on the patio and I'm sitting.

Me: I'm going to be at the Toronto airport on Monday...

B: Wait..what? Where are you going?

Me: What do you mean where am I going?

B: I mean are you flying somewhere? Why are you going to be at the airport?

Me: No silly I'm coming to see you! Pick me up!

Anyway, I decided on a whim to go visit B for 4 days on my reading break. I made the right decision. when I got off the plane and came down the walkway, B was looking at the other door and I could look at him in profile for a full minuet before he noticed me coming towards him...It was awesome, he looked exactly the same, and when we hugged he smelled exactly the same. I felt like I had come home.