So about 5 weeks ago I started to eat better. Whole foods as much as possible, little or no sugar (down to 1/2 a teaspoon in my coffee from 2 heaping) brown grains, more veg. and even thought I'm not working out (yet) I have shed 9 pounds. I feel pretty good too! I'm trying to limit my calories a bit, but mostly working on drinking the water and taking the vitamins, making good choices for my body and indulging when I need a treat. I have also started meal planning and prep on Sundays so my food and snacks are made and ready in the fridge. Next is starting some exercise, I'm thinking couch to 10k and/or strength training.
And some things have happened since I've started to get better, and I am so much more able to cope with things now that I've come through something actually serious and worthy of angst and stress. I realize now, that I used to be a bit of a drama queen, reacting strongly and taking on a lot of things or stressing out about stuff and overthinking it. Granted I still do a bit of that, but not so much anymore. It's true what they say, "don't sweat the small stuff". I am a much calmer person now, internally. I do feel transformed by my cancer experience. I feel like I am actually alive. ALIVE!!!!! I am much less preoccupied by "what if" because my "what if" happened. And you know what? I lived. I not only lived, I got fierce, I won.
Why did I just tell you all that? I guess because I'm learning that everything you experience makes you who you are right now, and how you react to things shapes how it affects you. The trauma as a young girl made me a fighter, strong and protective, loyal and fierce. My cancer called on these deep reserves of strength, and fortified them, calling into play my wisdom and care as an older Me. I feel very optimistic about the coming years, working on being a better artist, better friend, better partner. Most of all really stoked on being around. Love to you. Take care of each other.