THE PLACES LIFE TAKES US...

These days are passing with relative ease...I am finding the time to get work done and have time to myself. I think I am spending too much time on the computer, but I haven't given over to the 24 hour porn gods yet so I think I'm ok! I talk to B a few times a day now and we chat online. So often I am amazed at how deeply we are connected. I am careful to gush simply because this thing that is happening is precious to me, I want to keep it. I don't need to extol the virtues of falling in Love, not this time...keep it secret, keep it safe....I don't want it to go away like the other times. What have I learned from past love? Speak your mind always ... everything , fears, hopes, plans, non-plans, sex, life, love.....Be in it...don't just think you have something to go on, really know it, sit with it, exist in the moment with it..if it is real you will be able to feel it without having to describe it a thousandfold to yourself and everyone who will hear you. I know I've got something so remarkable, someone so special... my love grows every day....I feel calm. I feel sure. But most of all I feel Loved Back...

THE LONG DARK TEA-TIME OF THE SOUL...

Well. My flight was at 7am not 7pm, and the night before I realized I had lost my passport, and didn't know how I was to get on the plane. After being on hold for like a half an hour a cranky french Canadian lady told me I had to report it stolen and produce the police report to the airline. Great, I just love cops. Seeing as how the scar from my last run in with police hasn't faded totally away( another story for another day) I was not really thinking they would be helpful. But they were. Friendly in fact. And, dare I admit it, kind of cute. L was helpful and drove me, and when we got home made yet another fantastic meal. I seriously want her to be my personal chef, but don't have the money to bribe her yet.YET. So I got on the plane, and there were no screaming children near me, which is a family curse of mine, but in my haste to make my next flight I left my very expensive camera on the plane. Poo. I was so tired by the time I got home I didn't even clean up the kitty barf until after I had a nap and about 10 glasses of water.Being home is really not all it's cracked up to be. Sure I like time alone. Sure I like the quiet, when I am not secretly wishing the guy upstairs, who I have nick-named Godzilla, would spontaneously combust...My cats are darling but not really a substitute for the One I Love. So I write. I draw and I hope for the miracle of a magic plane ticket to bring him here by my side.

TIME.....

This week had been interesting. Meeting family is never really easy, and thankfully B's folks are real nice. I finally started to relax around everyone enough to be myself a bit more. I don't know where I got this idea that you have to be so formal around other poeple's adults, but it is definitely detrimental to my brain being ok. I guess I revert back to being a child, and really really wanting the approval of the parental units, I mean I do feel like I am ok, and that I am worthy, and that people will like me, I just get WIGGY ok? also showing up out of nowhere, on the doorstep of the parents was not something I really thought about in advance, so it felt weird. Got hooked on ANGEL at Laura's house. She is B's best friend and DAMN She makes THE Best Cherry pie I have EVER tasted!! She and I had fun yesterday walking down by Lake Ontario, it is so big, it does actually fool me a bit into thinking I am at the ocean. No it doesn't smell the same, but there is beach and waves and endless flat horizon.Pictures to follow, at some point.....